Child Of The Nine Sisters

So, somewhere in the woolly wilds of Ithaca NY, my friend Melanie lies sleeping, dreaming of whatever it is she dreams of and thinking about her birthday tomorrow...

I wanted to be one of the first to say it...

Happy, Happy Birthday Baby!

love and miss you, Ro

I Soar


The wheel turns
The years fly by
I open my soul pinions
Mantled to the sky
And soar with them
Muscles aching
From long years of sleep
I reach for the clouds
Talons scoring the soil
Flowers springing
From the Earths dire wounds
I touch azure and samite
My beak opens
To drink in life
To sip from experiences
My thirst for wisdom
Momentarily slacked
I fold my wings
I dive steeply
I alight amongst the treetops
Tuck my head against my breast
And sleep
To dream of my past
To plan for my future

I don't post often on here, it just seems to be silly to me when I see most of my friends on a daily basis and they know how I am doing, yet I have to remember that I have friends back in the North East who I never see, so I guess maybe they might like an update once in awhile as well.

Firstly, the meds seem to be working miracles this time, my moods are stable, happy and I laugh a lot more than I did and it's real laughter too not just the kind that you emit to cover up nervousness. A great deal of this has to do with my housemates who are probably the nicest and most supporting people I have ever known. They actually CARE, which is something that has been missing from my life for a long time, and I have missed that.

School is about to start for me again, I just have to work out a few financial aid snafus and then all will be well. Sort of having a crisis of faith as to my declared major at ASU, I was all about anthropology, however, given that my knees and back hurt so much some days that I want to curl up in a fetal position and hide, well, that might not be the best route for me. I am thinking I may want to be a museum curator though what I would have to major in for that seems to me anyone's guess. I may just major in Anthro with a paleontology minor, something like that, we'll see.

My cats are doing well, after Calculus died Kid was a bit heartbroken, calling for him all the time (they were best friends) but he seems to be better now, just needs more of my attention than before and talks and chatters more than he ever did in the past, but it's sort of cute if a bit heart wrenching.

I have rediscovered my love for cooking and baking, and I have gotten even better at it. I love to create food for my housemates and guests, it makes me feel comforted to comfort others, if that makes any sense at all. I seem to be able to look at a recipe, make it mine and make it better, a gift perhaps or just a passion, who knows? But I am seriously enjoying it.

No prospects on the love front, but I am strangely ok with that too, I have things in my life that I need to work on before I am healthy enough for that...now, with that said, I am sure the universe will take that as a challenge and toss men and me willy nilly (I wish) but that too I will face, should it happen.

Delving deeply back into my spirituality and if feels wonderful, I feel more complete, happier, more powerful and certain about things in that vein than I ever have in my life up to this point, it's a great feeling, a calmness, that I have been lacking.

Other than that dear friends, there isn't much more to write about, life goes on, I get older, the wheel turns and I turn with it...and I am fine now, with getting older, there is wisdom there and experience and I am glad for all of it as that's what makes me me


Bright Blessings
Ro

Happy Birthday Amber!!!

My kitty, my Calculus, passed away just a few moments ago. May the Goddess guide him to the Summerlands!

But honestly, I feel pretty lost right now...

hmmm, well I am now back on meds, they are making me a bit sick to my stomach and very dizzy, which I was told might happen, though I don't remember it being so bad the last time I took this particular drug, but we'll see I guess, it will progress as it does I suppose. Otherwise, life is going good I guess, I love where I live, have the best friends and housemates you could ever ask for...

More later perhaps

Hugs
Rowan

Happy Beltane my sweets, I miss you all and wish you the warmth of the returning sun and the abundance He brings!!!!


Blessed Be
Love
Ro

Everyone say Happy Birthday to blazinsprite!!!!

I loves you Joshie


Rowan

I have gone through and deleted most of the folks on here that are not my friends anymore, these are all local people so any of you out of state needn't worry, there has obviously been some sort of falling out, one that I am not privy to of course, so i am getting rid of the people in my life that really aren't interested in it anyway, I would appreciate it if they, and they probably know who they are, would also take me off their friends list, it is, after all, only fair

Rowan

I must say that henchgiving (we have a mailing list that a lot of my friends are on and we all had dinner the day after Thanksgiving) was wonderful. The food was great, the conversation was of course incredible. I even got to try Wassail for the first time (thank you Iria!). I felt really a part of things which for me has been missing for awhile. I even got all teary eyed when Dirk told us how he and Laura were thankful for each of us and how they loved us all, I am such a sap for things like that. We drew names for giving xmas gifts and I got one of my favorite people ever, Liz, so I was very happy with my draw! That Friday though was about where the fun ends!

I am sure you all know my struggle to find a job, it's been very hard, I have sent out silly amounts of resumes, applied both online and in reality and nothing, no returns, no interest, I think things will change in January when I start my last semester at MCC. I will have my financial aid again and there is a job coming available in the financial aid department that I really hope to get, it would make my life so much easier being able to work at school. However, until January comes, I am going to have a very rough time of it. My utilities are likely to be turned off as of Friday, unless I can get either 138 dollars or get one of the charities to help me, and it looks like I could be sitting in the complete dark for around a month, providing, of course, I can even keep my apartment for that long. My land lady doesn't want to wait till January for current and back rent, I haven't received an official eviction notice yet, and I am trying to hold her off for as long as possible, as they give you about a month to move out and if I can hold off I should have money to move with when the time comes. on or around January 10th or so. I haven't had my medications in over two weeks, as I can't get to my appointments so that's making things much more dire than even they might be, I have no food, or rather, VERY little of it and not sure where to turn at this point or what even to do. If there were a way someone could lend me the money I could have it back to them no later than mid jan, I have about 5000 coming from financial aid and loans. I am at wits end, I don't really expect anyone to be willing or even able to help, I always get myself into these fixes and I guess being homeless might teach me a lesson. I could deal with living in my car, providing I had a place to park it, but I would lose the cats and most of my stuff, something I am not looking forward to. I have called charity after charity to no avail and am seriously about as depressed as I can be about everything. I needed to vent, you can all either read this or not, your choice, comment or don't, I certainly wont think any less of you either way.

I am hoping this next year will be better for me, I am actually determined that it will be, but it's just getting there that seems to be the issue. I have one more chance for help from a couple of charities, but the help may not come soon enough, what to do?

Sorry for depressing you all, it's a crappy time of the year for me, it always has been, but I have fallen so far from where I was last year that I can hardly face myself, it's very difficult to care about much of anything when I don't know where I will be living in a week or two and know that I will very much be in the dark, all alone, even if I do manage to eek out some money from a charity to help with rent. Right now I just need my friends, not for monetary support, but just to be there, to love me and let me know they care, because right now I am feeling supremely alone.

But enough depressive talk, I have class tonight, a test, a report I have to give, that should keep my mind off things for the next little bit.

I hope you all have a good holiday season, and I want you to know that I love you all, every single one of you

hugs, Rowan

I know I told you yesterday, but


HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAWNSTAR!!!

hugs, Rowan

Baby dragons are just too cute, eggs, not so much, so click on him and make him hatch!!!!

Everyone wish my friend quaoar a happy birthday today!

Happy Birthday Mr Wade

hugs, Rowan

Reading is a huge part of my life, right now I am reading two books, Broken, by Kelley Armstrong and Babylon Babies which is the novel Babylon AD is adapted (if poorly so) from.

So classes are on, which is a good thing. I love anthropology (my major) and am thinking, quite seriously about going into the physical anthropology field to study primates. I would get the chance to study primates in the wild and/or in zoos and compare their behavior with humans and search for corollaries. Sounds totally fascinating to me, and I need to narrow down the huge field of anthropology some for my true major at ASU.

Not terribly much else happening, I will be getting financial aid this semester, good on me because I can't seem to find a job anywhere and well, bills still need to be paid and I would like to eat more than once a week or so! Hehe!

Things with the house-mate are better, she seems to have learned what sharing actually means, maybe even a bit of concern for someone other than herself. Her financial aid is help up for a couple of reasons and she still has no job, the whole scene changes on a daily basis as to whether or not I think of the arrangement as a success or not. But as I said, things are better or at least seem to be to some degree, only time will tell. We are still in that new house-mate period of adjustment.

Cats are good, all healthy thank goodness. House is getting cleaner all the time. My lab for a class got changed to days so I can still come to Thursday night dinner, which I am thankful for, I would miss you all terribly much if I suddenly couldn't come! I have only ten credit hours this semester, which helps, but none of them are online and I had planned on them ALL being online so that's was a bit of a surprise, all the online versions of the classes were full, and I still couldn't grab a math class, they are full on both campuses which makes me crazed, what I might need to do is graduate with a general associates and just major in anthropology at ASU, that would probably work and have me graduating in May instead of Goddess knows when!

Ok, enough babbling, I am going to sign off now, big hugs to all my readers!


Ro

So, here I am again...did you miss me? So I am once again enrolled in classes at Mesa Community College, my last 2 semesters here, which is both kind of sad and also exciting. Next fall I will be attending Arizona State for anthropology with a minor in sociology I hope. I have thought and fought with myself over both the major and the minor and with the help of brasslizard, and my love of sociology, I decided this was a good minor, the majors I had been kicking around were either journalism, I love to write and am quite good at it, or Anthropology which I absolutely adore and am also quite good at. So I decided, after much thought that anthropology, mainly the physical aspects of the field, really intrigued me, so here we are. I am taking my first social anthro class this semester, which should prove to combine sociology to an extent with anthropology. We'll see.

I have a house-mate now, Hunni, a friend of Dirks. We seem to get along fairly well despite some gaping disagreements in religion and politics, and a few in morals as well. It is nice to have company though, I've missed that, just being able to talk to someone when I start to get lonely is very nice.

I am still unemployed, or unemployed again I guess, I tried a job with a major amount of walking and could hardly move my arm and shoulder the next day, not to mention the severe pain in my lower spine, I had to take the day off due to the pain and went back the next day, suffering again all the time I walked, until the end of the day when they told me I was fired. It also seems much harder to find a position this time around, less jobs of any worth out there. I need something on the bus route, not a mile and a half away from it, and I need something that pays a minimum of 10.00 an hour, more would be better of course but I can make things work with at least that. I may have to take an outbound call center job, which I deplore, but again, only time will tell. Hunni has no job either, and if she is to be believed, she has been looking everywhere for one. Times are tough I guess.

My love life is non existent at present, and for once, I am ok with that. I have to get me settled before I can think of sharing my life with another person, though there have been a couple of interesting candidates should I feel ready enough, I just don't right now. I need a job, and I need to do well in school, those two things are the priority right now, not love. Of course, now that I say that some guy will show up in my life...yet I digress.

Health wise I am good, other than allergy issues which I feel will be my burden to carry for the rest of my life. I had a huge sneezing fit here on campus today sitting under some trees, I wasn't like they were a species I had never been near before, so not sure what caused the outbreak, but I didn't like it much and hope it wont repeat itself. I walked around campus stuffed up for an hour with an itchy nose and throat, so it must have been something that I have issues with, maybe it's just all the damned olive trees all over the campus, I KNOW I am allergic to them.

I am not sure what else to post, my mood remains good and optimistic even with all the job issues lately, I just feel like something good is around the bend and I just have to find it.

See you all again the next time a fit of writing attacks me...

Ro

I Wonder


Looking up
She considered
The existence
Of Stars
Of a tapestry
Of silver
Laid out across
The sky
Like
A Tiffany's
Christmas display

Were they really
Up there?
Balls of fire
Floating in Stygian
Darkness
Shedding light
That wouldn't reach
Earth for millennia
That would NEVER
Reach her,
Standing beneath
The scudding
Plutonium clouds

Springtime


Lest ye forget
Tis springtime
When a fey heart
Turns verdant
As the Willow buds
Jade hued
As new born snow-drops

The wind turns balmy
Ariels and zephyrs
Cavort among the Hemlocks
Warming the shadows
That lie beneath
Chasing winter away
With Peresphones kisses

Demeters crescent moon smile
Promises lambs and calves
Bleating babes
Singing infant arias
To the spring tide
The old ram feels the motion
Of melting ice
Leaping off to find his ewe


The air is redolent with petal promises
Scenting the southern breeze
With hints of sunny gold
Tasting of orange blossoms
Clover honey, lilac abundance
Bees buzz on the eastern horizon
As Helios wakes the world